Spoken From Madness: A Spoken Word Poem

Obsessions, jumping from one to the next;

Fixation on this, fixation on that;

Long term, short term;

Some rule me life;

Some bring me pleasure;

Some cause me strife;

Let me tell you about a time;

When I was only nine;

You know, back when I thought everything was fine;

When the only thing that consumed my mind,

Was wondering what we were going to eat for dessert that day;

Knowing that everything else will be okay.

Of course, things started to change later on;

They say it’s darkest before dawn;

Oh boy! Were they wrong.

You see, I’m haunted by these…

Obsessions, jumping from one to the next;

Fixation on this, fixation on that;

Long term, short term;

Some rule me life;

Some bring me pleasure;

Some cause me strife;

Ignorance! I need more information!

I’m sorry but I must comply,

You see, I have an enemy,

And that enemy is my own mind.

I’m constantly thinking,

Consumed by my own thoughts;

Did I turn off the stove?

Is my front door locked?

Wait! When did this start happening?

Paranoia, compulsions,

And all these other bad things?

Mother and Father tell me to keep being perfect,

Keep being me;

Because perfection is all you’ve ever been known to achieve.

Perfect grades;

Perfect smile;

Perfect laugh;

Perfect child.

Rehearsed in the mirror for hours on end;

Perfecting every aspect to please all of them.

When will it stop?

Those obsessive thoughts in your head;

Keeping you awake;

As you lie in your bed.

Constantly screaming and whispering your name;

Informing you that you’ve officially gone insane.

Instead, you make a decision for yourself;

Dead, is better than a living hell.

But I’m smarter than that, because you’ll see;

That one day again, I will be happy!

Back to harmless infatuations, with no more stalking;

Because frankly doing all that was quite exhausting.

Back to immersing yourself in books and investing in the ones you love.

Back to writing, running, dancing, singing;

All harmless fun.

Hope can be a dangerous thing for someone like me.

Since it isn't me, but my mind that needs to be free…

From all of these...

Obsessions, jumping from one to the next;

Fixation on this, fixation on that;

Long term, short term;

Some rule me life;

Some bring me pleasure;

Some cause me strife.

I can’t take it anymore;

I’ve lost all motivation;

My mind is sore;

I just need to find inspiration!

I detest this side of me;

The thoughts I get are scary,

And I want them to leave.

I’m sad, so sad;

But no one understands;

Not my mom nor dad;

Not my siblings nor my friends.

I’m lost inside my fractured mind;

With no one left to save me;

Nothing’s seeming clear;

Feeling discombobulated and hazy..

It’s thanks to all of these...

Obsessions, jumping from one to the next;

Fixation on this, fixation on that;

Long term, short term;

Some rule me life;

Some bring me pleasure;

Some cause me strife.

-R.W.